gifts‘Tis the season of weddings and summer parties – and it’s always the season of birthdays. One of the biggest challenges of living a clutter-free lifestyle is giving and receiving gifts. There are many expectations, spoken and unspoken, about how/when/what gifts are appropriate throughout the year and for special occasions. Though gift giving is meant to be loving and joyous, it can instead be ridden with anxiety and guilt! What if she hates it? I don’t have any good ideas! I really hope I don’t get another ugly sweater…. Are any of these thoughts familiar to you?

Fortunately, times are changing and it is becoming more celebrated to give and receive nontraditional gifts. Let’s talk about how to do just that, in ways that are consistent with a clutter-free, organized, and mindful life:

Giving

  • Time: The one thing that we all long for is more time! Consider doing a favor for a friend or family member: it could be in the form of a chore (yard work or painting), a favor (babysitting or pet-sitting), or time spent together (a walk in the park, a movie and wine, cooking dinner together).
  • Gift of money: often what people need (but may not feel comfortable asking for) is cash to put towards a down payment, debt, or travel. Many of us have the unquestioned assumption that giving money is “impersonal” or “lazy.” Do you believe that? Do you feel that way when you receive money as a gift? Another perspective is the freedom cash gives: the recipient can put it toward a special treat for herself or something he’s saving for!
  • Green/local: if you want to buy something, consider supporting the local economy by buying from a local business or artisan, or purchasing products made out of recycled and/or renewable materials.
  • Gently used: if you know it won’t offend the recipient, consider giving a gently used item as a gift. Especially when it comes to gifts for children (who go through clothes and toys quickly), a gently used item is easier on the environment and your wallet. How about those earrings that your friend always admires but don’t suit you?

Receiving

  • “In lieu of x, please y:” maybe you’re planning a party for yourself or a child, but don’t want to add new items to your home. Consider asking that, in lieu of a gift, your invitees bring something edible, or simply bring the “gift of your company!”
  • Donate to a Charity in your honor: It is also becoming more acceptable to suggest that your guests donate to a charity in your honor. Charity Navigator and Charity Watch are great places to vet charities!
  • A fund: are you saving to buy a house, take a class, or go on a service trip or vacation? If you would prefer to receive funds towards your next spending goal, give your family and friends the option of contributing to a fund. People may feel more excited to help you achieve a goal than they would about giving cash for an unspecified reason.
  • “Please consider the environment:” a friend included this thoughtful line on her invitations to a baby shower: “please consider the environment when selecting and wrapping a gift.” As a result, people brought their gifts wrapped in baby blankets! A gentle reminder like this may prompt people to think differently about what and how they give.
  • Crowdsource: if you’re planning a big party, how about asking for help instead of gifts? Share a spreadsheet where people can “give” help with set up or clean up, or where people can sign up to bring different food dishes.

For more alternative gift ideas, see our post on choosing consumable gifts.

Many people are thinking more carefully about their purchases and about the items they bring into their lives. We all yearn for more ease and joy in our lives, and for many of us that means being thoughtful about the things we keep in our homes. In over ten years of mindfully decluttering and organizing, we’ve assisted many clients who agonize over whether or not to keep gifts they received. If this is a struggle you share, ask yourself these questions:

  • Would the gift giver want their present to make me feel trapped or guilty? 
  • Can I take a picture of myself with this gift, and keep the memento instead of the gift itself?
  • Do I need this gift to know the giver cares about me, and that I care about them?

We hope these questions help you to find peace when it comes to passing on gifts you’ve received and thus having only things you love and use in your space. You can carry the love for the gift-giver in your heart without holding on to the gift.

At the end of the day, we all want to express our love for friends and family and to help them mark special occasions such as birthdays and weddings. Thankfully, there are many creative and generous ways to do that! Have you given or received a nontraditional gift lately? Tell us about it!

Discover more ways to mindfully declutter your home or office here! >>