Collection of items: books, piggy bank and other odds and endsSorry: Your Kids Don’t Want Your Heirlooms

The evidence is in! 

The evidence is in: our children simply don’t want to inherit our prized possessions and heirlooms!

Of course there are exceptions to this, but there is only one way to know whether your adult children will want your stuff: by asking them! Do this by sending a text or email to your kids with a picture of the items in question. I have assisted a number of clients in eliminating storage units using this “text a photo right now” technique.

Before my mother passed, she checked in with me and my brothers, and put our names on the back of every piece of furniture, picture, and cherished heirloom in her home that we desired. Anything that my brothers and I don’t want was offered to the grandchildren. No takers? It goes directly to her cleaning lady or off to Goodwill!

If your furniture and memorabilia don’t hold sentimental value to your kids, it’s likely that it doesn’t hold monetary value, either. Exceptions may include Midcentury Modern furniture, as Next Avenue explains. But in general, gifting your things to your children is more likely to be a burden than a financial asset.

Why Don’t Our Children Want Our Stuff?

Millennials prefer experiences over STUFF

Forbes and CNBC report that millennials (people born between 1981 and 1996) are embracing minimalism and in an article titled Millennials Go Minimal Forbes reports that most millennials prefer a less cluttered lifestyle as well as preferring experiences over stuff.  I don’t know what you think, but I think they might be onto something wit that! A nationwide study of millennials found that:

  • 78% of respondents would rather spend money on an experience than a thing
  • 77% say their best memories come from experiences
  • 72% of millennials would like to increase their spending on experiences
  • 69% say that their experiences make them feel more connected to their communities, other people, and the world.

The study also points out that since 1987, the portion of US consumer spending devoted to experiences and events has increased by 70%.

Some millennials are even giving up their lucrative jobs to travel! If travel is a goal for your adult children, no wonder they want to live unencumbered by possessions.

People Today Live In Smaller Spaces

When I was eight years old, I asked my grandmother if I could have a particular piece of her furniture. This piece is sometimes called a “half-n-half” or a “side-by side.” Pretty, ain’t it?

If best-selling author Marie Kondo is right and our objects have feelings, how must my poor half-n-half feel shoved into the corner of a guest room where no one appreciates it!? Ideally, it should be given a place of honor in my home or passed on to someone who will love it.

This piece of furniture has travelled with me throughout North Carolina, to Takoma Park, Maryland (where it had a place of honor right by the front door) and now to Colorado. I’ve become less fond of the half-n-half, yet I feel that I ought to “keep it in the family.” But here’s the rub: what if no one else in the family wants it?

It can be uncomfortable and disappointing (even sad!) when your kids don't want your precious #heirlooms. Learn why your kids don't want your stuff, and what you can do Share on X

My son lives nearby and shares a one bedroom apartment in the city, but he prefers to use extra space for books and records. And he, like many of his generation, doesn’t treasure my precious furniture and memorabilia. In fact, when he was moving I found my clawfoot table out by the dumpster at his apartment! The table that my brother lovingly stripped of black paint and refinished for me. But the table has no sentimental value to my son. And why should it?

The cost of housing other factors mean that many young adults today live in much smaller spaces than their parents or grandparents did. Some are even coming back to live their parents for extended periods of time.
In March 2018 Pew Research report entitled “How Millennials today compare with their grandparents 50 years ago,” the researchers conclude that:

Greater shares of Millennials today live in metropolitan areas than Silents or Boomers did when they were young.  … about nine-in-ten Millennials (88%) today live in metro areas.

Different Taste in Furniture and Tchotchkes

Some call millennials “the IKEA generation,” but Ron Lawson, writing for the Antique Auction Forum, confirms that he has “witnessed a constant and steady decline in the appreciation of antiques in general” not just among millennials.

Affordability and ease of access to goods online and in stores such as Amazon, Ikea and Target make furniture and household items extremely easy to access. Our kids can easily and affordably choose things that match their own unique style and taste as they change over time.

What do your heirs have to say about being gifted with your belongings? Have you asked them?

So… What Can You Do Instead?

If your kids don’t want your heirlooms, you’re not alone—and you’re not out of options. Here are some thoughtful, creative, and values-aligned ways to give your treasures a meaningful next chapter:

1. Take a Photo, Tell a Story

Not ready to let go completely? Take photos of meaningful items and write a short note about the memory or person they’re connected to. You can create a small memory album—digital or printed—that preserves the legacy without taking up physical space.

2. Ask, Then Offer Widely

Ask family first (a text with a photo works wonders), but don’t stop there. Think cousins, godchildren, close friends, or neighbors. You’d be surprised who might love your vintage tea set or bookshelf. And if you get “nos” move on to donating!

3. Donate With Intention

Skip the anonymous drop-off if you can. Try:

  • Local shelters or transitional housing programs

  • Community theaters (they LOVE vintage furniture)

  • Refugee resettlement organizations

  • Online “Buy Nothing” groups where you can see who receives your gift

We have many resources on our Resource Links Page, for everyday items as well as some unusual items like guitar strings or American Girl dolls!

4. Sell It—Or Try To

Before you decide to try selling, consider the time, your skills, and how much you can REALLY expect to get for any particular item. Not everything has resale value, but if your item is rare or stylish (Midcentury Modern, anyone?), check with consignment stores, Facebook Marketplace, or niche auction sites. Just keep your expectations realistic—and your sense of humor close.

5. Choose a Few “Treasures” and Give Them The SpotLight!

It’s okay to keep a few items that truly make your heart sing. Choose consciously. Give them a place of honor in your home. Let them tell your story.

‍♀️ 6. Try Swedish Death Cleaning

The name might sound dramatic, but the intention is gentle: slowly and thoughtfully release items so others don’t have to make those decisions for you. It’s a kind act—for your loved ones and for yourself. When it comes to personal memorabilia like letters, photographs, journals and more, Swedish death cleaning offers a sensible approach.

Letting go doesn’t mean erasing the past.

It means trusting that the memory lives in you—not in the object. And hey, if you need help sorting out what stays, what goes, and what needs a second opinion… I’m here for you.

Not sure where to start? Let’s talk it through. 🙂 
Schedule a free no-pressure discovery Zoom

Please share your stories of passing down your treasures or receiving them from others. What do YOU do if you are downsizing or rightsizing, and you want to pass on the things you treasure to friends and family? How do you wish for your precious stuff to be treated? Have you received heirlooms from your parents or grandparents, that you love or don’t love?